You have no one to talk to. Even when you are in a room full of people, you can’t seem to fit in. You are isolated. You are invisible. There is no one you can trust anymore; everyone you know is unreliable. You have so much you want to share; so much you want to say. But, you know deep down that no one will understand.
Everything that was once good in your life is now bad. Your relationships are broken. All the people you depended on have turned their back on you. No one wants to support your goals. They all think you are a fool. They sneer at you; waiting for you to fail so that they can gloat that they had warned you but you didn’t listen. You keep trying to prove yourself but, no matter what you do, it’s always one step forward and two steps back. You have failed at everything but there is no one to pick you up except yourself. But how can you raise your spirits when you no longer believe in yourself?
It’s a hard truth to take; but let’s face it: You are all alone!
The Pain of Feeling All Alone
There is a saying (I’m paraphrasing) that says, “We can’t live alone because we are all connected by invisible threads”. Akin to the overused “No man is an island” quote, this saying goes to show that we are not meant to exist in solitude. Humans are social creatures. We crave interaction with others. That’s how some people get lonely. You find yourself in a room full of people who you don’t have a connection with and, therefore, you feel isolated. You might even feel sorry for yourself and start thinking that there is something wrong with you.
Being lonely, though, is different from feeling alone. That feeling of being alone goes a little bit deeper into the core of our being. When your emotional standing and your mind are overwhelmed by sadness and hopelessness, then depression is at your door.
Loneliness can be cured by establishing a worthwhile connection with someone. Feeling alone incorporates loneliness, sadness, hopelessness, anger directed at yourself and at the world, and the pain of failure. What is it about you that makes you so unlovable? Why won’t people listen to you? Why doesn’t anyone understand you? Does anyone even care about you?
Enemy at the Gate
There is a reason why people go mad when they are cut off from the world. Anyone who has been shipwrecked or survived a plane crash in some jungle somewhere has started experiencing hallucinations as they desperately call out for a much-needed companion. Even children are known to exhibit this desire for connection by having ‘imaginary friends’. Having ‘a friend’ they can trust serves as a coping mechanism to what life brings their way.
For adults, it is important to have someone you can share ideas with; someone who you can turn to when you are stressed or going through trying situations in your life; or someone to just share a laugh with. It is a social phenomenon that psychologists continue studying. Even in the Christian Bible, there is the instance whereby Adam in the Creation Story found himself feeling lonely and God provided a companion for him. We all need someone.
That is not to say we are not self-sufficient. That’s also not to say that we can’t deliberately isolate ourselves for the purpose of meditation or rebooting our systems. Feeling all alone is a desperate situation for anyone to go through.
What to do When You Feel All Alone
Unfortunately, there isn’t a ‘one-size fits all’ solution. Humans are complex creatures having different experiences in the world. Nevertheless, you bear the great responsibility of getting out of the rut. You need to analyze your choices, your circumstances and your thoughts to determine where you have gone wrong. You need to see everything with new eyes.
If you are lucky to spot the symptoms of sinking into depression, it is important to get yourself out of it before it takes hold over your life. Depression is a different beast to deal with and it has feeling alone as one of its symptoms. You can read some articles about depression here and here.
Do away with toxic relationships
If you don’t feel you can trust the people in your life, go ahead and make new friends and connections. We make the mistake of holding on to people and relationships that do more harm than good. Why would you want to keep around someone who makes you feel insignificant? Why would you let someone break you down everyday telling you how worthless you are?
Seek out positive people
Realize how valuable you are and seek out people who see your value and encourage you to be better. If someone really loves and cares about you, they will do everything to be in your life and to contribute positively to it.
Communicate your feelings and move on
This is difficult to do. One of the reasons you feel alone is because you think no one ever listens to you. Give people a chance and find a way to get them to sit down and hear you out without commenting. Share your feelings to them and how their actions have affected you. The people who care about you will acknowledge their mistakes. Some might even be shocked that this is how you’ve been feeling and they didn’t know they were hurting you. Take note of those who dismiss what you have shared with them and cull them from your life. You don’t need them.
Have a plan and purpose for your life
Many of the mental, emotional and physical problems we encounter in our lives can all be tied back to our life plans and life purpose. You are where you are because of the choices you have made and the circumstances that surround your life. Once you take responsibility for where you are in life, you can plan out what you need to do to improve your life. Having a purpose will guide that plan and it will serve as a plane of reference every time you start feeling lost.
In life, there will always be moments when circumstances batter you and you find yourself fighting fire on your own. Years of experience teach us that only true friends will stick around when your world is in turmoil. These are the people you need to find and have in your life.
I have always said this and I ask you yet again to be there for others. Everyone is going through a battle in life and it takes just a moment of your time to change their lives. Today, decide to be there for someone. You might think you have nothing to offer because you are also going through some things in your life. But what you give in life always comes back to you tenfold. Share the love and be there for someone and tomorrow you will not need to look far for a friend.